I have developed a theory with fellow freinds, scientists and Grammar Nazis. This theory states that ceilings are actually walls that have had a bit of a tumble, and are now in a purgatory stuck at a 90 degree angle, watching 18 year old virgins wank and play call of duty. The only way to free the ceilings of this curse is to destroy the building in which the inhabit, and detach them and lean them on another wall, allowing them to be at rest. Let me tell you a story.
I used to work at a ceiling factory with my friend mike. We were good freinds. Until one fateful day. We were packing up for the night, when i dropped my keys into an area of the factory where only the senseless killers that were the D-class workers were allowed to be. I entered and found the inverted walls crying, suffering. See, during the first 24 hours of being a ceiling, they are still conscious. Poor bastards. I pick up my keys and whisper to the suffering walls "I will help you". I leave and flip off the lights, leaving the ceilings to their own dark thoughts.
The next day was an inspection. Several workers moved in to investigate the equipment used to flip the ceilings. Thats it. These poor ceilings suffering for no reason. I pull a machine gun out of my penis and shoot out the factory. The D-class charge at me with knifes. I kick on in the face and use his body as a bowling ball, bowling the others out for good. I see mike running at me, bayonet fixed on his Carbine. I pop a cap in his ass and he falls down to the ground screaming. "WHY?"
"The ceilings. They are people too."
"No their not..." he mutters.
"You're right. Fuck you though"
I grab a sniper and do a TOTES L3G1T OH MY GOD 72000 TRICKSHOT QUICKSCOPE NO-SCOPEAND IM ALL LIKE MA GET THE CAMERA, AND THEIRS HITMARKERES AND SHT AND ITDS ALL BEAST MAN.
I go to the managers office, and activate thee ceiling reversal system, turning the ceilings into walls again. I then go to the nuclear reactor powering the facility, and shoot the coolant pipe to disengage the cooling system. The reactor responses with loud sirens almost immediately. I get on my motorbike and leave the facility, an exttremely Micheal Bay explosion going off behind me. I accelarate so fast I explode, and my body lights on fire as i hit a wall, propelling 2000000000000000000000000000000 metres around the world, landing in my house, where i free my ceiling, and end my own life, so much hyper realistic blood on my hands.
DEN A SKELLINGTON POPPED OUT